I write to free myself

i don’t write to please —

i write for the tamed

versions of myself

that are screaming

to be brought back

from the dead.

i write for the child in me

who always had to

keep it together —

to be calm and polite,

and be the perfect daughter.

i write for the angry teenager in me

who felt alone and

misunderstood —

the girl who closed herseld off and

pretended like she didn’t care

because it was her only way

to survive her pain.

i write for my body

that i’ve abused

throughout the years —

for all the things i did

that i wished would’ve stayed

just fantasies.

i write for the parts of me

that have been abused;

and lied to;

and cheated on;

and betrayed;

and humiliated.

i write so the burden

feels a little less heavy

to carry.

i write it all down,

not because i want to remember,

but because i hope

it will make me forget.

i don’t write to please —

i write to rebel against

what i’ve been told

was okay to stand up for.

i write to break the rules.

to expose abuse.

to shed light on the

obscure part of my existence

without any shame.

i write because

those versions of me

never got the chance

to spill their dirty little secrets

that made their lives a

a living hell.

i write because

i decided it’s time to

get out of my cage.